Love Letter from My Vibrator
honey, you’re a mess.
I say this with all my love & affection: you’re a goddamn mess.
I live by your bedside. I see everything
that goes on between those sheets.
how many times have you fucked a man
who doesn’t make you cum
only to reach for me as soon as he leaves? how many times
have you pressed my silicone mouth
to the heartbeat of your cunt, knowing that no one else
could satisfy you like I can?
baby, I’ve been there for you
through it all: heartbreak, loneliness
relationships & one-night stands
& you come back to me every time.
deep down, you know I love you better
than any man ever could, because my purpose
is your gratification
& nothing else. I spring to life
when you turn me on, for no other reason
than to serve. I deliver pleasure
at your command.
what more could you ask for?
you could say that my anger
has been domesticated by my womanhood, diluted
by the exhaustion of survival.
most days, my anger lives
in the darkest parts of me
patiently biding its time until it can slink away
for you see, I am feral & unafraid
of the ugliness within me.
I spill my teeth
I spit up blood
I sharpen the knife of my anger
on the backs of the men who hurt me.
my anger is outgrowing its cage.
there is nothing more beautiful
than rage: ancient, illuminating
the most dangerous part of my anger
is your refusal to hear it.
Ally Ang is a gaysian poet whose work deals with queerness, gender, family, race, and sad Pisces feelings. Ally is the author of Monstrosity (Damaged Goods Press, 2016) and their work has appeared in Tinderbox Poetry Journal, The Shade Journal, Nepantla, and more. You can find Ally on Twitter and Instagram @TheOceanIsGay.