Barbie Chang Can’t Stop Watching
Barbie Chang can’t stop watching
the Ellen Pao trial
while the rest of the world wonders
about a plane crash in
the Alps helping Ellen Pao is not an
option Barbie Chang
opted out but never really severed
ties with the people in
the office she kept quiet because by
speaking she would
become a victim something projected
upon like the canvas
that paint is thrown on she quietly
packed her bag and
pulled it through the narrow door some
say what a whore Ellen
Pao was to fall in love with a man in the
office doesn’t she know
that men like to take off their clothes
extend their tongues
to see whose body it will run on some
thought Ellen Pao was a
cyst in the office made lists in the office
of all the wrong things
someone made a poll about her did she
or didn’t she was she or
wasn’t she always the same binary argument
racism or incompetence is
there a third possibility that when we
have seen something so
many times we no longer recognize it
as injustice our heads
are always only one foot away from
the man’s head in
the other hotel room but we don’t notice
because we can’t see him
around an empty office building dead
birds lie in the grass
new ones each day hit the glass each
face the same
expression forever frozen in its own
form like a stamp
Barbie Chang’s Mother Calls
Barbie Chang’s mother calls her to
tell her about the
oxygen machine that outfoxes her
father he can’t figure
out how to turn it on there’s a whole
generation of people
who care about deer porn not form her
dog only cares about the
deer horn she gave him yesterday Barbie
Chang’s father who bothers
with everyone’s business doesn’t know
what Bisquick is someone
wrote a book of poems about Kanye
West there are still
old poets looking for the best new young
poets who are all hornets
around the same old nest Barbie Chang
knows she lives an
America that most people don’t care
about on most days
she can’t distinguish between being a
token and racism she
either feels like a token or is experiencing
racism a token needs to be
acted upon by a subject but the same is
true of racism does that
mean her whole life is an object as a
shadow of someone
else on some days she has feeling in
her lungs tries her
mother’s oxygen machine the O2 owes
her nothing it goes
through her body breathing for a
shadow is just a hobby
Mr. Darcy Grabs
Mr. Darcy grabs Barbie Chang’s hand
one that has a loop
and can be tugged like a leash she wishes
his hand were a special
hand a hand she has been trying to
touch for years but
his hand has no breadth or texture
fingers too big to text
just a hand that only knows one
woman’s upholstery
its fabric and stuffing if Barbie Chang
unscrews his hand
and replaces it with an ugly man’s
hand would she still
want to grab it her gasp comes out as
an X-Ray of some other
woman some imposter some possible
maybe her separation
from other women only makes her
see her connection to
them maybe she desires Mr. Darcy
because he has never
been captured on film because he
has no footsteps
maybe he was right wing all along but
if she knew that would
she give the ring back the phone rings
every day with men
trying to sell her solar panels don’t
they know not
everything that burns should be
captured and sold
Barbie Chang’s Daughter
Barbie Chang’s daughter befriends
the new girl at school
but before they can form a bond the
new girl’s mom tells
Barbie Chang that her own daughter
should not tie herself
down and drown too fast and in one
week the new girl walks
past Barbie Chang’s daughter no longer
talks to her kind the mom
works hard to send cards to the Circle
one by one she stars
their names because they are free to
star names free to have
stars next to their names Barbie Chang
no longer can play dead
because she remembers the moment
she realized that lying
on the cement and looking at the sky
while following a body in
and out of buildings was not ideal the
moment she realized that
she is not what others see that she is
not what others name her
would we name a deer something else
if it could see the ocean
would the deer even name itself a deer
Barbie Chang asks her
daughter why she no longer plays with
the new girl she says
only in her mind Barbie Chang can’t
help but mind
can’t help but dislike the Circle’s children
with their Circle friends
how does she stop the end from
beginning again
Victoria Chang’s fourth book of poems, Barbie Chang, is forthcoming from Copper Canyon Press. Her prior book, The Boss (McSweeney’s Poetry Series, 2013), won the PEN Center USA Literary Award and a California Book Award. Other books are Salvinia Molesta and Circle. Chang lives in Southern California and teaches at Chapman University and Orange County School of the Arts. You can find her at www.victoriachangpoet.com