Lora Supandi

Bandung Funeral

The left eyeball of a glimmering salmon
          that holy opal, staring back, before the blade

                              *

Sugarcane ice
          along the Citarum River, a boy slurps fresh juice as
                    his grandfather hauls the chopped stalks on his back

                                                            *

Amah’s door-to-door durian deliveries
          tucking spare change into red envelopes while her baby’s baby
                    Chicka Chicka Boom Booms in a foreign classroom

                                                                                          *

Kopitiam tables
          gossip in Bahasa
                    prayers in Hokkien

                                                            *

Postpartum rituals
          massages on teak wood mats
                    papaya seeds and ginger root
                              belly kisses in a September monsoon

                                                                                *

Mama’s pack of Sampoernas
          exchanged at that old man’s warung
                    smoke hideaways in paddy fields
                              burnt matches flicked into muddy water

                    *

Lightning strikes
          above tangled mangroves, overlooked
                    by Dewi Ratih, ruler of the moon

                                                            *

Papa’s motorbike
          greased and guttering, careful as he rides through
          the night market, streets overflowing with hot frying oil

                                                                                                              *

Golden anklets
          once wrapped around an infant’s wrist

                                        *

Ngaben
          means 'turning into ash'
                    we collect her baby’s dust and bones,
                              we eat rice with sambal, we sit together

                                                                                                              *

divider

 

Bathing

After the nocturnal drive, half-tanked and chugging northward,
after the reuse of dirty laundry, parking lot smoke break,
and the aftershock of cheap caffeine, we slip into a motel bathtub,

our wrinkled fingertips on each other’s hips as if peeling
the flesh of winter loquats or sweet milk candy and you tell me
in a whisper below the persistent drip of a leaky faucet

about the dream where we run into each other at eighty and eighty-one—
the silvering of strands, new crinkles and calluses
but those same umber irises, stick-and-poke on skin.

Will I find you as I find you today, shriveled and skinny, wiser
yet still weary? Hidden from the cold moon, I rinse your hair
as splotches of dye blossom neon blue across the tub.

In the dewy decay, our hands are warm and fragile,
weathering as morning glazes through the blinds.
It reminds me of a sad and beautiful impermanence.

I drain the bath. Our muscles turn rigid, and this being alive
feels a bit like riverbanks resisting drought. We bundle up
in yesterday’s clothes and return to an unbruised juncture.

The clock breaks when I touch you.

divider

 


Lora Supandi (she/they) is a poet of Hokkien-Indonesian descent. She received her BA & MA from Stanford University, where she was a Levinthal scholar in poetry. Through the diaristic and the imagined, they experiment with the possibilities of radical futurism, post-imperialist landscapes, and unseen intimacies. Lora yearns for liberation.